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Saturday, February 18, 2006, 12:23 AM
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yeah supposed to be studying but her i am blogging away... dunno whats happening to me... felling down lately... think its exam stress... oh btw about my failure in that subject... i am supposed to do a sup paper ... which also means that whether or not i can go year two very much depends on my other subjects as well... haix... perhaps stay at home too much le... getting grouchy and whiny... i guess monkeys can't be tamed... haha~ i am an exam-stress person... when it comes to exams, i need someone close to be with me ... since young its been like that....

hmmm sometimes i am thinking that actually we lost someone but when u dun think about it... you won't be 100% concious that she is not there anymore... somewhere buried deep deep in our hearts... how my life won't been different if she is still here... death and marriage brings everyone together... long lost friends and relatives...recently, someone i know just passed away ... about a week ago, he just striked lottery and was happily jumping up and down... little did he know that he won't survive another week... death is just so unexpected ... at the funeral... siblings cry out loud at the loss of him , hugging the coffin... i admired them for being able to express their grief freely... i looked at his children...i was reminded of the huishan in less than a year ago... i knew how they felt although i know its totally not the same... i shivered when i looked at the body... i fear the face i see will be my mother's ... no i dun wanna go through it again... i cannot stand losing my close ones ...never will i want to go through it again...
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Ashley Shan
08.11.87
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