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Monday, December 19, 2005, 12:53 AM
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hmm this had not been an easy year for me ... suffered the worst set back in my 18 years of life, the death of 2 persons and the "betrayal" of their husband. I dunno issit called betrayal or not, i am really confused but the world really dun seem as innocent as i imagined it to be. One of these husbands, was someone i looked up to as a good father, the kind of fatherly love that i yearned to have ... however, i received astonishing news that he is going to remarry in July next year, when the wife died in sep this year. He might be thinking the children needs s mother but i seriously think not that fast... this is not a time when the father should divert his attention away from them and go look for another mother ... his children told my family they couldn't take it too... He actually scolded them just because they dun let the new girlfriend stayover at their house.... Is the love with the wife so weak that the death can break it ? i dunno .... i think if my stepfather didn't have an affair while my mother was ill, and didn't get himself a girlfriend so fast , about a year later i would even encourage him to get a wife ... I seriously think this is rubbish... i am very disappointed ... my heart is tearing though physcially i am not ... just an empty shell....

Working at banquet had given me a lot of feelings towards marriage, i could imagine how it would be like and so on, also given me lots of views towards marriage ...hmmm sometimes the urge of me wanting to get married soon is because i am so afraid my grandma and grandpa dun live to see me get married ... they are the most impt ones left in my family already ... i want them to give me their blessings and be the ones to hand me to my future husband ... however ... seeing the situations mentioned above, i am more determined to be careful about who i pick... i am sorry to say now i kinda look at all guys the same way... dun blame me please ... after all that had happened in my family ... the scar i have , can never never be mend... so "TO YOU WHO TRULY LOVES ME SO, WAIT FOR ME AND DO NOT FORSAKE ME" ...
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Ashley Shan
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♥ Recent Entries ♥
- Lost
- Career Journey
- 10 years of my youth
- Suddenly I just feel like leading a normal life. D...
- "That's the trouble with falling for fashion boys ...
- 在考场的门口，我的眼泪渐渐的流下来..
- Exam Day 1 ...
- 【天蝎座】
- My Love & Apology Language
- 你的。。

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