Here is a little story.
There was a man with two sons. The younger one said to his father: "Father, give me my share of the estate." So the Father divided his property between them.
Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of the country who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating but no one gave him anything.
He came to his senses and went back to his father to beg for forgiveness regardless whether or not his father will be willing to accept him as his son. Instead of punishing of this son, he threw a feast to welcome him home and gave his best robes and food in celebration.
Just in case you guys didn't know, this story is taken from the Bible in the Book of Luke 15:11. Some of you may wonder, why the sudden "holiness" ? Tonight, I saw a mother's agony.
Spare the rod and spoil the child. I have always believed in this statement although I am still struggling for more freedom at this age. Blood is thicker than water. How many friends walked in and out of your life ? How many boyfriends/girlfriends broke your heart by abandoning you for something else ? Will they be there for you 24/7 ?
Will my mum do the same thing? I thought in envy. When I am down, I blamed my mum for leaving me, wishing she can be there for me whenever I needed her.
It suddenly occurred to me just an hour ago, what kind of agony she was going through for that 3 years, knowing that she cannot be there for me anymore. She battled very hard but couldn't win over the fate of life.
Now I want to tell her every little bit of details in my life and having the chance to spend more time with her. But its too late. No chance.
In case you are thinking, why is she wallowing in self pity again ? No, I am not sharing this to earn sentences like "Girl, be strong, we're here for you." nor "Girl, we understand how you feel." Cause no, you'll never be able to fully comprehend the pain. And after recently after my friend's mum death in an accident, then I was thankful at least my mum was living on borrowed time.
I want people around me to understand, how precious life is. Have you ever thought, what will happen if your mum suddenly disappears forever? What if you'll never get to feel her warmth again? All the what ifs........
Life don't give much chances to "What Ifs", so don't regret when its too late."